Who Is Sitting On Your Horse?

Is your ego sitting on your horse? Probably. Not to seem like a jerk. But most likely. 

It’s probably in the drivers seat for most of your waking life. But your ego might not be who you thought it was. Your ego is the parts of you, you don’t want to acknowledge.

So who’s sitting on your horse? Is it an individual who is comfortable in their own skin? One who has clear intention? A person who never seems to actually ride their horse, but is part of the horse? They dance, without using any hand, or leg, as they float gracefully at peace, around the arena? 

There’s my ideal apparently. What’s yours? I’m going to guess it’s not the rider currently riding your horse. 

Your ego wants to keep you good and safe and right. It’s program is based on your past experiences. It doesn’t leave a lot of room for the un-imagined. It also wants to make sure no one knows about your dirty secrets. You know, your shadow. The parts of you you’d rather keep hidden away. 

The ironic thing is, your horse knows. And pretty much anyone who’s ever worked on their shadow, ever. Because the tells are all there. The over compensating, the bravado, the self promotion.

Your horse won’t be falling for your ego. They see who you really are. Your horse will be responding to real you. Not who you are presenting to the world. 

So, if you pretend to have confidence- they know. If you pretend you aren’t scared- they know. If you pretend to be nice- they know. They KNOW you. And they reflect you. Because a horse is honest. They don’t know how to be any other way. 

Think back to those rides where it seemed like your horse had a secret agenda against you (impossible FYI, they don’t have any pre- meditation capabilities in their brain). Could they perhaps have been responding to you? It was a rhetorical question. They were. That’s exactly what was happening. Or, they hurt and were trying to communicate it. But, if you’ve been following along, that was you too. 

Thats your ego. 

IF your horse has a secret agenda to ruin your day - could it possibly be you acting like an ass?

IF you’re blaming the horse for everything, could it possibly be that you have no self awareness, or accountability and you are throwing the horse off constantly?

IF the horse is stupid, could it possibly be that you don’t have the ability to ride with empathy or compassion? And are being unclear in YOUR communication?

There’s your ego doing it’s job. Protecting you from the truth. Keeping you in your safe bubble, that allows you to always be in the right, preventing you from failure. 

It doesn’t have to be like that. You can change your relationship with your ego. You can tell it to take the back seat. It can become your ally. Your horse would probably really appreciate it. 

Step one- Get to know who you are, why you react the way you do. (This might turn into you learning about meditation, astrology, past life, shadow, psychology etc... go for it, explore). Start a self care routine. Stay disciplined about it. 

Step two- Build a healthy relationship with your inner self, your inner dialogue the stories you tell yourself. It’s ok to love yourself. It’s ok to support yourself. It’s ok. Set healthy boundaries. Learn self awareness, become accountable. 

Step three- get to know your ego. Learn to forgive and love yourself without judgement. 

Be in your body.  Quiet your mind. Get to know your soul. 

Here’s my personal experience with how my ego helps me out, and no, I do not have a handle on what I’m talking about. You learn through mistakes, not perfection. Keep that in mind. 

If I feel like I have to prove myself - hello ego, why’d you pop up? Why do I feel like I need to prove anything? 

I hop on a horse and find I have an agenda. Sit back. Breathe. Hello ego- what do I need to let go of today?

Someone writes something about horses and my hackles go up. Yup. That’s my ego. Always stirring shit up. 

Your ego can be your guide to what you have stuffed deep down inside. It isn’t your enemy. It is part of you. The problem lies when we let it take over. When we let it dictate how we respond, what we do, where we put our energy. Many (most,maybe all...) of us have been taught through our lives that positive aspects of our personality, or gifts; are just the opposite. 

We get diagnosed and given a pill. Now, I’m no doctor, don’t be going off your meds.

What if we were taught to channel and discipline our anxiety, lack of focus, hyper awareness into awareness, into being able to focus on MANY things in the present? What if addiction was taught to be curbed into a highly focused drive towards a goal?  Being addicted to a topic in a healthy manner vs a substance? What if all the labels we’ve been given are just gifts stuck in the shadow aspect because they weren’t nurtured to their potential? Not because your parents screwed you over, but because they didn’t realize??? Your ego keeps them in the shadow. You’ve been taught they are “dirty secrets” of your personality. WHAT IF THEY WERE SUPER POWERS????

What if your horse was trying to help you see that? 

When we get on our horse, with an agenda, that’s ego. When we blame the horse, that’s ego. When we have to win, that’s ego. 

Being with your horse. Working towards something together, in communication. Connecting in a meaningful way that is beneficial to both. Allowing your horse to show you the possibilities you never imagined. 

Your choice. 

I recently had a ride where I focused on setting clear boundaries, without having an agenda. I stayed clear in my direction and tried my best to allow the horse to move without my position getting in the way. I felt things I did not know were possible. At a walk. We’ve gotten caught up in the doing. What about the being? When we sit back and enjoy our horse journey, it becomes something so magical, we can’t even imagine it. 

What if instead of controlling and directing our ride (with our ego) we asked the horse how they would like to be danced with?